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Picture this…
You’re 7 years old, you have a dream to ride a horse. You didn’t even know that was something you could do! But now you know and you can’t stop thinking about it.
You beg your Mum for lessons for your 8th birthday, and despite her knowing full well that it’s the most expensive thing her daughter could possibly want to do, she agrees. Boo-ya.
As you can probably surmise, that was the beginning of the end. I became obsessed, in a completely healthy way of course…
I had weekly lessons, that my amazing parents paid for. I began working at the barn when I could to collect some extra lessons or free rides.
I become lost in the world of horses, I can’t get enough!
Then one day when I was 10, my lesson barn gets this gorgeous young mare. We were told she was 5 (she was 4). I got to ride her and boom, I was in LOVE. The kind of sappy love that they make movies of. But, after a year she was leased to another farm – heartbroken but not shattered I had hope that I’d see her again.
I’m 12 and I’m working every odd job I can find, I start babysitting (I know, how did people possibly trust me with their kids but they did), and I started my own little dog walking business. Saving every penny I earned.
“What was I saving for?” I remember friends asking me as I refused to buy a giant gobstopper at the corner store after school, I would then proclaim loudly and in excruciating detail to anyone who would listen, that I had a plan to buy my own horse.
However, that didn’t stop me from shamelessly asking my parents for a horse though (I figured I’d give the easy way a go first!).
I would ask my parents (the classic little girl begging for a pony) and the answer was always along the lines of “We can’t afford it”, “too expensive”, “if you want a horse you have to buy it yourself”. Completely fair but…
So by 12, I had just under 6 grand saved up and a steady stream of dog walking clients. I could afford board, granted cheap board but I could do it!
And guess which horse had come back to my lesson barn… that little mare I fell in love with was back.
Stella.
There was some drama with someone else trying to buy her but, I went directly to her owner (with my parents as back up of course) and made my offer! A little back and forth and she was mine! It turns out she was a fully registered quarter-horse with papers, I truly didn’t care, I loved her and breeding didn’t even come into my decision process.
$4500 later and believe me it was a shock when I realized years of saving and working could be depleted so quickly!
Worth it in my eyes though, I couldn’t believe it! I bought my heart horse, she’s mine forever, never to be apart again.
And I had money to spare (not much but some)! I had wanted to save up more but with the other interested party, that didn’t happen, oh well I had learned early on in life that you can’t plan for the unexpected so you’ve got to go with the flow.
And it didn’t matter to me, I’d work my butt off to pay for her. I had faith I’d figure it out.
I mean it would be pretty impressive if I did but the reality is I had the privilege of not needing to contribute to household expenses and I had the rest of my needs taken care of for me.
Don’t get me wrong I did a lot of it myself but, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge my superhero of a mum. She’s the one who drove me to lessons, to the barn, to my first job at Dairy Queen. She offered financial help where she could and when she said the 45-minute drive to the barn after work was just too much for her to continue to do (because as much as I wished, they didn’t give driver’s licenses to 14-year-olds), she suggested moving Stella closer.
Closer meant more expensive though. When I was 12 we moved from our small town in Niagara to a city closer to Toronto for my mum’s new job. This meant we were farther from the barn and the closer to the city the more expensive board and stabling seemed to be. We also weren’t familiar with the area so it made it a little harder.
So, when I said I couldn’t pay any more for board she offered to cover the difference. So, we moved Stella closer (thanks MUM!).
And I spent as many evenings and weekends at the barn as I could (only a 15-minute drive now!). I couldn’t afford lessons anymore but what did that matter when I had Stella?!
Like every barn girl, I started working weekends that allowed me to chip away at the expensive board. I began catch riding horses at the barn and I even got to get some lessons on the barn horses that were in need of training.
So, all that along with my Dairy Queen gig and a couple of dog walking clients I kept on, I managed just fine. You might be thinking “Bethany what about school or a social life?”. Well, I made a lot of friends through my jobs and I truly didn’t care if I couldn’t hang out with my school friends most of the time. I had so much on the go there really wasn’t much time to think about things that I was potentially missing out on. And I don’t have one ounce of regret to this day.
As for the whole school side of things, I was a mostly straight-A student who graduated grade 8 with the History award and honors. Then I went on to graduate high school on the honor roll and all that jazz. I even managed to squeeze some time for an extracurricular or two!
After High-school, I decided to take a gap year ( which turned into 2 gap years … whoopsie).
I got a job at the top racing stable breeding farm in Canada, Sam-son farms. I learned SO much. I realized before that point I knew jack-all about horsemanship. Honestly to my cocky teenage self that was a wounding blow to my pride, but I needed to be taken down a peg. And, believe me, working with REAL horsepeople achieved that with flying colours. Once I got over my pride, I was able to learn and grow so much in my horsemanship.
I learned how to handle foals, how to do basic first aid, normal health checks, how to assist vets with x-rays, and how to avoid flying hooves when you’re trying to get a nasal swap from a grumpy colt. I learned how to properly hand-walk a horse (little did I know there was more to it than just walking on the left of them and holding the rope). I learned how to handle hot horses right off the track, how to drive a tractor, fix a fence, and the list goes on and on.
While I was getting deeper and deeper into the horse world I met amazing people! In particular, one woman named Mackenzie. She had a stunning young horse but she wasn’t riding at the moment.
So, I offered to come to ride, completely selfless of course… I was dying for more saddle time.
It all fell into place and soon I was riding her horse Tir na nog (aka. Noggin). He’s a stunning chocolate horse with flaxen mane and tail and it quickly got to the point where I was riding him 4 to 5 days a week.
Noggin is a Belgian X Rocky Mountain Horse. Probably one of the most extraordinary horses you’ll ever see. Mackenzie had bred him from one of the incredible nurse mares at Sam-Son farms named Goldie.
So, I’m working a ton, riding as much as I can and my 18th birthday comes and goes. And with those blissful years of youth went the board subsidy from mum, fair enough! I knew that she wasn’t going to keep subsidizing the board cost for Stella forever.
It worked out perfectly though because the barn Mackenzie had Noggin at wasn’t far, a bit of a hidden gem, and affordable! Boo – f**kin’-ya!
The catch… no indoor arena.
But that wasn’t too big of a deal, Stella was coming back off of a tendon injury and I was rehabbing her slowly so a winter off and then slow work back in the spring/summer wasn’t a problem.
So, I continued riding Noggin and training him with Mackenzie. And soon enough we’d dubbed ourselves the Belgian Mountain Horse Team.
I was taking care of Stella and loving it and like every good story, there’s always a dark side.
Things weren’t always sunshine and rainbows. In the last two years of high school, my life became turmoil. My mental health deteriorated, I started self-sabotaging, my anxiety was at an all-time high, and I would leave home after huge blowout fights with my family for days. But, instead of going off the rails completely…which believe me was a very real possibility. I had Stella to hold myself accountable.
I had taken responsibility for her when I bought her and whether I understood the gravity of that responsibility or not when I was younger I understood it now. So, despite being in teenage chaos I didn’t neglect that responsibility. Even through the absolute flaming garbage can that my mental health spiraled into for a few years. So, even when I was at my worst, I went to work, and I showed up for Stella no matter what.
Don’t get me wrong, some days I was a complete disaster and there was a full 2 years that I would rather just forget I ever lived through but, I always had Stella and she was my anchor in the middle of the storm
And as SAPPY as that sounds it’s true, I don’t know what dark crap I would’ve gotten into if I didn’t feel the need to show up for her every day. She’s my heart-horse in every profound sense of the phrase. She saved my soul from walking a dark path (and just ask my parents, they were worried) and she still makes me smile every damn day. So, she may not seem like anything special to anyone else my little quarter horse mare but, she’s everything to me. I still see her every single day and she brings me so much joy.
Stella’s 19 now and happily retired living in a huge field with her herd and I feel forever grateful for our paths crossing all those years ago because I truly don’t know who I would be today without her.
| Canadian Equestrian
Bethany Didtrek
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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